


Cat's Out of the Bag

by shions_heart



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Coming Out, First Kiss, Getting Together, M/M, Marriage Proposal, Panic Attacks, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-03
Updated: 2017-01-03
Packaged: 2018-09-14 12:23:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,496
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9181438
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shions_heart/pseuds/shions_heart
Summary: When Kuroo Tetsurou drunkenly proposes to his best friend Kozume Kenma during the midnight release of Kenma's first ever video game, Kenma doesn't think anything could be more embarrassing.But when the proposal ends up going viral, Kenma's forced to confront feelings about his friend that he's kept locked away for a long time.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Carrochan](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Carrochan/gifts).



> Note: this fic deals with an drunken proposal that forcibly outs a character, who subsequently has a panic attack. Please use caution while reading if this is something that upsets you.

There's five minutes before the doors open for the midnight release of Kozume Kenma's first official video game. It's the one he's spent the past four years developing, his graduation project that somehow got the attention of an actual production company. This is practically a dream come true for him.

And if his best friend doesn't show up within the next four minutes, he's going to miss it.

Turning away from his table-mate, Nakamura Akito, one of the producers who believed in Kenma enough to vouch for his ideas, Kenma pulls out his phone to type a quick text.

 _where r u? it's abt to start_ (23:56)

 **Kuro  
**_sorry!!!!! bo wanted to pre-game. we're almost there!!!_ (23:58)

Kenma frowns at the text, wondering how much Kuro's had to drink. He's using almost as many exclamation points as Shouyou does. The thought of the two of them showing up drunk to his event irks him. He knows it's a weekend and the two usually go out Friday night, but couldn't they have made an exception for him?

He supposes it's not a huge deal, but he hopes at least that the two won't embarrass him.

"Kozume-san, it's time," Nakamura touches his shoulder lightly. "They're about to open the doors."

Kenma inhales deeply, pocketing his phone and turning around with a nod. He takes a deep breath, steeling himself. He can see the group of people on the other side of the doors, waiting for them to open. He hadn't expected such a big turn-out, being an unknown developer. But the company that picked up his game has sold many amazing games in the past, so he supposes a lot of people are there on faith.

He hopes he doesn't disappoint them.

The doors open, people stream in, and Kenma is caught up answering questions, signing copies of his game, and blinking rapidly in the face of hundreds of flashes as the local news team takes photo after photo. Throughout the chaos, though, he keeps an eye out for Kuro and Bokuto, to no avail.

He's starting to get pissed, to contemplate leaving as the noise and the crowd are giving him a headache, when two familiar figures appear in front of him.

"HEY HEY HEY!" Bokuto grins, waving a copy of the game in Kenma's face. "This looks super cool! I'm going to play it all night!"

"You've got to buy it first," Kuro reminds him, smirking.

"Oh. Can I borrow some money? I swear I'll pay you back! It's for a good cause!"

"Fine, fine," Kuro says, digging into his pocket to pull out his wallet. "But don’t forget. I know where you live." He hands over a few thousand yen, and Bokuto hurries off to the cash register to stand in line.

Kuro turns back to Kenma then with a grin. "A lot of people turned out for this, huh?"

Kenma shrugs. "It's a popular company," he says nonchalantly, but he can't help but feel pleased at the amount of attention his game is getting.

Kuro picks up one of the games on display in front of Kenma, turning it over to read the summary on the back. "This really does look cool," he says, before lowering it to look Kenma in the eye. "I'm really proud of you."

Kenma's face warms, as his heart stutters in his chest. "It's not a big deal," he mutters, looking away.

"No, no, no!" Kuro sets the game down, stepping around the table to kneel in front of Kenma, taking his hand to look into his eyes earnestly. Up close it's obvious to see the glassiness to his eyes, and the smell of the alcohol on his breath has Kenma leaning away slightly. "Kenma, Kenma, listen. _Listen._ This is what you've dreamed of since you were a kid. It's a super big deal! Like, the biggest deal of your life! You did it! You're super cool now. Probably even cooler than me." He gives Kenma a lopsided grin.

"You've never been cool," Kenma says, staring down at his hands, which Kuro still has captured in his own. He's pretty sure his entire being is on fire, and his heart is pounding rapidly in his ears. There are people around, probably staring, and Kuro is making a scene.

Kuro's nodding, as though Kenma's said something wise. "Exactly. You're so cool, Kenma. Like, the coolest. I'd totally marry you in a heartbeat."

Kenma stiffens, his eyes widening. "Wh-what?"

"Marry me, Kenma!" Kuro says, grinning and pulling Kenma's hands to his chest to hold them against his heart.

Kenma stares at him, reminding himself that Kuro is drunk, and he doesn't really mean it.

Somehow that makes it worse.

"Okay," Kenma says, as nonchalantly as he can, shrugging.

Now it's Kuro's turn to blink rapidly, as he stares in disbelief. "Wait, what?"

Kenma rolls his eyes, pulling his hands out of Kuro's and turning back to the table. "You should get Koutarou before he knocks over a display."

Kuro remains on his knees for a moment, and Kenma has no idea what he's thinking, or if he's thinking at all, but after a moment he stands and makes his way over to where Bokuto is gesticulating wildly in line while talking to someone, very nearly knocking a display over before Kuro grabs his arm.

Kenma, meanwhile, buries his flaming cheeks in his hands and tries to regain control over his heart rate. Beside him, Nakamura chuckles softly.

"So when's the wedding?"

Kenma shoots him a death glare, but Nakamura only grins back at him. When Bokuto and Kuro finally get to the front of the line to check out, they make their way back to Kenma and holds out their copies for him to sign.

"Make sure you address mine to The Greatest Ace Ever," Bokuto directs, pointing.

Kenma's gut reaction is to not do that, but when he looks up at Bokuto's wide grin, he can't bring himself to hurt the guy's feelings. He signs it neatly so that it can be clearly read, and even adds a little cat face to the end of his signature. When he hands it back, Bokuto clutches it with sparkling eyes, like he's just been given a great treasure. Warmth fills him, but when Kuro says, "add something cute to mine too!" Kenma frowns and simply puts his signature on Kuro's copy. Succinct and impersonal.

"Hey . . ." Kuro says in disappointment, after he takes the game back.

Kenma blinks up at him, daring him to challenge it. He's already embarrassed the both of them with his stupid proposal. He should understand this is payback.

Kuro pouts, but he accepts this punishment. "Okay, but I'm going to add little hearts when I get home."

"Come on, come on! Akaashi's waiting for us!" Bokuto grabs Kuro's shoulder, yanking on it insistently.

"Okay, okay, geez," Kuro says, annoyed as he pulls his shoulder out of Bokuto's grasp. He turns to Kenma then with a tentative grin. "Will you come by when you're done here?"

Kenma considers for a moment. He knows it'll just be the four of them, which he can handle, but he also knows that it'll be Kuro and Bokuto and possibly even Akaashi drinking and playing loud music while they try out his game, and the thought of being in the same room while his game is being played makes his skin crawl uneasily. He'd rather wait to hear their reactions afterwards than experience any real time critiques. Akaashi is particularly blunt while drunk.

"Maybe," he says.

The two leave, and Kenma remains at the table until nearly two in the morning,  before dragging himself back to his apartment. He ignores the texts from Kuro telling him they're still hanging out if he wants to join them, changing for bed before crashing into it.

 

 

 

He wakes to the sound of his phone buzzing incessantly. Peeling his eyes open, he squints at the screen blearily, not entirely comprehending the texts at first. When he does, however, he sits up so quickly he grows dizzy, and he wavers for a moment, clutching his phone as he stares down at it in horror.

  **Takatora**  
_[video file sent]_ (05:34)  
_dude is this for real? lolol_ (05:34)

 **Morisuke  
**_finally!_ (06:03)

 **Yuuki  
**_congrats kenma!!!! im really happy for you guys! ^.^_ (06:03)

 **Kai**  
_congratulations!_ (06:05)

 **Sou  
**_!!!! GET IT KENMA!!!!_ (06:06)

 **Lev  
**_KENMA!!! CONGRATS!!! WHEN'S THE WEDDING?!?! I'M GONNA BE YOUR BEST MAN RIGHT??? XD XD XD_ (06:06)

Kenma swallows hard, reading the last text from Lev with growing dread. He quickly opens the file Yamamoto sent him, and his stomach flips uneasily, as he watches a YouTube video of Kuro kneeling in front of him behind the table at the game store, asking him to marry him. He hears his own response clearly, the flippant "Okay," and then the camera turns around to show a kid's face he doesn't recognize at first, before realizing it's one of his former kouhai from Nekoma who joined the team in his third year.

"You saw it here first, folks! Our very own Kenma-san is getting married to the legendary Kuroo Tetsurou! Wow!"

Kenma squeezes his phone so tightly the case squeaks in protest. It buzzes again, startling him, but it's only Fukunaga sending him a bunch of smiling cat emojis followed by exclamation points. His own version of congratulations, Kenma supposes.

He checks the amount of views on the video. It's much higher than he hoped. With trepidation, he searches for his name on Google. A dozen links pop up, most of them redirecting to the video. There's a gossip magazine that's already posted an article about it, wondering if he's trying to make a statement about gay marriage by having a public proposal or if he was caught by surprise. Another article wonders who Kuro is and for what reason did Kenma not come forward about his relationship with the other man earlier. Some people are speculating that he's doing it to get attention for his game, and others are proud of the fact that they were so public about the "obviously real" proposal.

Kenma's face is on fire, and his brain shortages out. All he hears is white noise, as he looks desperately for an article about his game. He finally finds one on the third page, complimenting the graphics and the character designs, though stating that it's surprising he chose to play it safe with the characters' sexualities when it's obvious he has no trouble publicizing his own.

Kenma struggles to breathe, as his vision narrows. He exits out of everything, unable to take any more of it. He scrambles off the bed, fighting off his panic attack as best he can as he flies out of his apartment and down two stories to Bokuto's, where he knows Kuro crashed last night. He doesn't bother knocking; instead using the key Bokuto gave him for emergencies. He bursts into the apartment, eyes pinpointing Kuro's location in a matter of seconds.

He's sprawled out on the couch in just his underwear, a blanket haphazardly tangled around his legs. There's no sign of Bokuto or Akaashi, though three pairs of shoes sit beside the door, and evidence of their party is strewn about the front room in the form of beer cans, pizza boxes, and chip bags. The menu screen of Kenma's game is playing on a loop on the TV, and Kenma quickly shuts it off before grabbing a throw pillow and whacking Kuro across the face with it.

"FUCK!" Kuro yelps, waking immediately in a panic and falling off the couch.

Kenma stands above him, trembling, his hands clutching the pillow, as he resists the urge to hit him again. "It's everywhere," he says, and he hates the way his voice shakes.

"Huh? Kenma?" Kuro squints up at him, holding his head as he no doubt fights a headache. "What are you talking about?"

"Your stupid fake proposal!" Kenma snaps at him, his heart racing in his chest. It's growing more difficult to breathe, and he gasps desperately for air, as his knees weaken.

Kuro wakes enough to realize what's about to happen, and he quickly sits up to catch Kenma before he can fall to the ground.

"Hey, hey," he says gently, pressing his hand against Kenma's chest. "Breathe. Come on, in and out. With me now. In . . . and out." He inhales slowly before exhaling, to demonstrate.

His breath stinks, but Kenma does his best to mimic him. Eventually, his breathing evens out, but then he registers how close Kuro is holding him against his bare chest, how he can feel his warmth and the rapid yet steady beat of his heart, and his frustration and anger returns. He shoves against Kuro's chest, forcing him to let go, as he scrambles out of his arms and moves to put some space between them.

"Kenma, what's going on?" Kuro asks, watching him worriedly.

Kenma wordlessly hands over his phone. A few more texts have come in since he left his apartment.

 **Shouyou  
**_KENMA!!! YOU'RE GETTING MARRIED?!?! THAT'S SO COOL! CALL ME! TELL ME EVERYTHING!!!!!!!!_ (06:15)

 **Nakamura  
**_People seem to like the game. Don't worry about that other stuff. Any publicity is good publicity, right? We can talk about how we can capitalize on this in the meeting tonight._ (06:17)

Kuro goes through the various texts, his expression shifting from confused to mortified. When he finally reaches the first text with the video file, he swallows hard, watching the clip with flushed cheeks.

"Kenma . . . I'm so sorry," he says, looking up at him with wide eyes. "I didn't . . . how did this even spread so quickly?"

Kenma shakes his head. He has no idea. Is it just because it happened at the release? If he'd been some random guy on the street, would it have blown up like this? Kenma takes his phone back, his heart sinking into his stomach as he gets another text.

 **Mom  
**_Please call me._ (06:20)

He can feel himself trembling once more. "Mom wants to talk," he says in a hoarse whisper.

Kuro reaches out to place his hand over Kenma's, giving it a slight squeeze. "I'll talk to her. Explain what happened."

Kenma pulls his hand away, his stomach twisting at the thought of Kuro telling his mother that it was just a joke. He'd imagined a conversation like this taking place with his mother for the past two years, only there weren't any apologies. There weren't any explanations.

It was just him and Kuro standing side by side, telling his parents their intentions without guilt or shame.

That was his greatest secret, his most precious fantasy.

And now it's ruined because the idiot in front of him had to make a joke about it while drunk in front of the whole world.

"Kenma?"

"I don't want you to." His tone comes out sharper than he means it to, and guilt twists in his stomach as he watches hurt flicker across Kuro's face.

"Kenma, this is my fault. At least let me try to fix things."

"I don't need your help," Kenma says tightly, turning away.

"Kenma, I'm _sorry_ ," Kuro calls after him, plaintively.

Kenma shuts the door behind him without looking back.

 

 

 

 

The video continues to make its rounds around the internet throughout the rest of the day. Kenma's phone buzzes constantly with texts from classmates and coworkers either complimenting him on his bravery or chastising him for being so open. There are even a few "lol ur gay???" texts that leave a bad taste in his mouth. Kuro texts him at least a dozen times with apologies and even tries to call twice.

After the second time, Kenma simply turns off his phone.

He knows he's probably being too harsh on Kuro, but his life is spiraling out of control, and he can't deal with his best friend right now. Each apology just reminds him of how it wasn't real, how it will probably never be real, and so all this publicity and all these comments (both positive and negative) are for nothing. So he can't even find a silver lining in it.

In the end, he goes home. He tells Nakamura he won't make the meeting that night and hops on a train back to his parents'.

Mrs. Kozume doesn't appear surprised when she opens her door to find her son on her front porch. Kenma stares at the wooden boards beneath his feet, chewing his lip until it's raw and nearly bleeding. He knows he's running away from his problems, like he used to do when he was a kid. Usually Kuro is able to pull him back, to help him see why it's better to stand his ground and not let the stupidity and/or cruelty of people drive him away. But what is Kenma supposed to do if Kuro is the reason for his retreat?

"Kenma," Mrs. Kozume says gently.

"Is it okay if I stay here for a few days?" Kenma asks, gripping the ends of his hoodie sleeves tightly.

"Of course."

Kenma steps inside the house quickly, toeing off his shoes and slipping into the cat-faced house slippers his mother keeps by the door for when he visits. Mrs. Kozume beckons him to follow her into the kitchen, and Kenma does, after checking the immediate area for his father.

"Is Dad not home?" he asks, settling down at the table while his mother starts on some tea.

"He's at work still," she says, not looking over at him. "He'll be home for dinner."

Kenma stares at the table, twisting his fingers together in his lap. "I'm sorry, Mom," he says quietly after a moment.

Mrs. Kozume turns around. "You have nothing to apologize for, dear. Tetsurou never should've made such a display. You handled the situation as gracefully as you could have, though I'm not sure why you told him yes. Then again, I've never quite understood your sense of humor."

Kenma squeezes his hands together tightly. "How did you find out?"

"It was on my Facebook page this morning. Honestly, Kuroo-san seems to think it's the funniest thing! She posted it herself."

Kenma fights the urge to groan, wondering why Kuro's mom had to be so much like her son.

"I didn't know anyone was filming us," Kenma mutters.

"I know, son. I'm more upset that this is getting more attention than the game you've worked so hard on! I know that must bother you as well." She sets down the tea in front of him, before taking seat herself.

Kenma wraps his hands around the mug, allowing the warmth to seep into his skin. He isn't sure what to tell her. How does he begin to explain that he's more upset over the fact that the proposal wasn't real than about the game being pushed to the side? That he's more irritated at the fact that all these well-wishes and congratulations are a result of a joke? He's grateful for his friends' support, they all seem so happy for him and Kuro, something he wondered about and wished for desperately. Now he knows how they would react to him and Kuro getting together, and it's all a lie.

He frowns faintly, then, realizing that although everyone so far seems to think it was real, his mother knows it wasn't.

"How did you know it was a joke?" he asks her hesitantly.

Mrs. Kozume blinks at him. "Well, of course it was. You wouldn't say yes to such a proposal on purpose!"

Kenma's stomach twists. "I wouldn't?"

His mother pauses, studying him closely. She tilts her head to the side. "Is there something you need to tell me, Kenma?" she asks quietly.

Kenma's fingers shake. He clutches the mug in his hands, trying to steady them. This is a conversation he hoped he'd never have with his mom, though he realizes he should have prepared himself for it to happen eventually.

"I love him," he says, his voice barely above a whisper. It's the first time he's admitted such a thing out loud, and his heart pounds rapidly in his throat.

For a long moment Mrs. Kozume says nothing. Kenma stares at the mug in his hands, trying to keep himself from hyperventilating for the second time that day. Finally, she sighs.

"I know," she says softly.

Kenma blinks, lifting his gaze to meet hers. "You do?" he asks, half-choking around the lump in his throat.

"You don't think I know my own son?" Mrs. Kozume asks, a small smile tilting her lips. "I've always seen the way you look up to Tetsurou, the way you're always following him around, the way you've stuck by his side all this time. I've seen the way you look at him, and the way you talk about him . . . I suppose I didn't want it to be true. Not because I don't love you, of course. I'll always love you. But . . . I see how difficult it is to be gay in this country, and I never wanted that hardship for you."

Kenma blinks back the tears that are burning in his eyes. "Does . . . does Dad know?"

Mrs. Kozume shakes her head. "I don't think so. I've never discussed it with him."

Kenma sniffles, and Mrs. Kozume slides out of her seat in order to wrap her arms around him. Kenma clings to her, burying his face in her warm, soft neck, and allows the tears to come.

"It was just a joke to him," he gasps. "And now everyone is going to know."

"I'm sure it will blow over soon," Mrs. Kozume says, stroking her son's hair gently.

Kenma can only hope.

 

 

***

 

It doesn't blow over.

A week later, it still pops up whenever Kenma checks his name on Google. His game is still doing well, booming in popularity once people find out it was made by a "gay developer." Nakamura doesn't seem to think there's anything wrong with this, as the sales keep growing in number and the company is ready to talk to Kenma about making another game.

All good things, but it still leaves Kenma feeling sick to his stomach.

"It's kind of disappointing that it's not true," Shouyou tells Kenma over the phone one day. "I really wanted to be your best man!"

Although Kenma's grateful that Shouyou believed him when he told him the truth, he really doesn't want to talk about this right now.

"Nakamura says I'm not allowed to publically announce that it wasn't true because it would bring our sales down, so now I keep getting wedding coordinators messaging me to advertise their services." Kenma rolls his eyes. "They keep mentioning how 'progressive' they are and how they'd be 'proud' to work with a gay couple."

Shouyou laughs. "Well, that's good, isn't it? That there are people willing to do that, I mean!"

"I guess," Kenma grumbles. "I just wish they'd leave me alone."

"Do you think Kuroo's getting a lot of messages like that too?"

Kenma squirms. "Um. I don't know. I haven't talked to him."

"KENMA!"

Kenma grimaces, pulling the phone away from his ear as Shouyou squawks in indignation.

"What?" he asks irritably. "I have nothing to say to him."

"That's a lie, and you know it," Shouyou scolds. "You need to talk to him! Even if you don't confess, he's still your best friend!"

"You're my best friend."

Shouyou laughs. "Well, yeah, but I'm not as close to you as he is," he says, and Kenma can practically hear him sticking out his tongue. " _And_ you're not in love with me."

Kenma rubs his forehead. "I'm not ready to talk about this with him. He's just going to apologize and try to fix things, like he always does. But Nakamura says we can't so there's nothing he can do."

"How about just being there for you while you're going through this rough time?" Shouyou suggests pointedly.

Kenma huffs.

"You know I'm right~"

"Shut up."

Shouyou laughs. "Talk to him, Kenma! You need to stick together through this. It'll make it easier!"

 _Maybe._ Kenma isn't entirely sure about that.

He's successfully evaded Kuro's calls and texts, and eventually he seemed to get the hint that Kenma didn't want to talk. He feels bad about that, but what he said to Shouyou is the truth. Kuro is the type of person to try and fix things, to take responsibility for his actions and try to make things right. Kenma can't have him doing that, because (according to Nakamura) his sales will plummet.

And he can't confess to him either, because Kuro will reject him.

He knows he can't know that for sure, but considering the flippant way Kuro asked him to marry him, Kenma's pretty sure his feelings don't go beyond that of normal best friends.

Still, Kenma can't help but miss him. When he heads back to his apartment after a week spent at his parents' place, he almost stops by Bokuto's to see if Kuro is there. He catches himself at the last minute, but still berates himself for being a coward as he hurries past Bokuto's door.

It's nearly three weeks later that Kuro apparently decides that enough is enough and knocks on Kenma's door around ten at night. Kenma's already ready for bed, having brushed his teeth and changed into his cat pajamas. He hesitates in the front room, unsure whether or not that will be Bokuto or Akaashi or Kuro, seeing as nobody else besides them ever visits him.

"Kenma? Open up," Kuro calls through the door. "I've given you space, but this is getting ridiculous." He knocks again. "Let me in. We need to talk."

Schooling his expression into one of impassivity, Kenma steps forward and opens the door. Kuro looks disheveled, and for a moment Kenma's afraid he's drunk again. But then he notices how he's panting, the beads of sweat along his brow, and he realizes he must have run the entire way there.

"I'm coming in," Kuro says, straightening and walking past Kenma before he can tell him no.

Kenma closes the door slowly, locking it and steeling himself before turning around to face Kuro. He's standing in the middle of the front room, staring at the photos Kenma's mother had framed of the two of them when Kenma left for college. Despite not really being into such sentimentality, Kenma set them up on his video game shelf. There are three. One from each of Kenma's graduations. The one from his middle school has Kuro with his arm slung around Kenma's shoulders, holding up a peace sign while he grins so widely his eyes squint shut, while Kenma stands hunched under his arm, the barest of smiles on his face.

The next photo is from his graduation from high school, and there Kuro is again, holding him close and flashing that peace sign, this time having gotten Kenma to give one too, though Kenma isn't smiling.

The third photo is from his college graduation. Kuro's lifted him off the ground in this one, his face bright in a happy grin, and Kenma's face is red, but he's looking at Kuro instead of the camera, and the smile that's curling his lips is soft, almost tender.

No wonder his mother had known.

"If you're here to apologize, don't bother," Kenma says, crossing his arms tightly over his chest. "I've heard it a dozen times before."

"Yeah, but you haven't _listened_ to me," Kuro says, running a hand through his hair agitatedly. "I need to explain things to you."

"What's there to explain? You were drunk, you made a stupid joke, and now everybody thinks we're getting married," Kenma says, growing more irritated as he speaks. "And I can't even make a public statement about how it's not true, because Nakamura says it'll affect sales of my game, and I've worked really hard on it and it _sucks_ because I have to ride on the tail of a drunken proposal that isn't even real to get my game noticed."

Kuro grimaces. "I never meant for any of that to happen," he says, stepping closer, his eyes begging Kenma to believe him.

Kenma looks away. "I know," he murmurs. "But it still happened and now I have to live with it." He scowls at the floor. "Nakamura says once my second game is released we can announce that we decided not to get married after all, due to pressure or whatever, and hopefully my games will be well liked enough that people will still buy them. Apparently we can still use the 'gay' card if necessary."

Kenma looks up in time to see Kuro's wince.

"I know you didn't want people to know about you for this exact reason," Kuro says quietly. "I'm _so_ sorry, Kenma."

Kenma sighs, the fight leaving him. It's difficult to stay angry at someone who looks so completely dejected. He lifts his arms, opening them to the side. Kuro's eyes widen, but then his shoulders sag in relief, and he rushes forward to collapse in Kenma's arms.

Kenma holds him tightly, and Kuro's arms encircle his waist, his fingers curling into Kenma's pajama shirt. He can feel Kuro's heart beating rapidly in his chest, a little quick for simple remorse. Kenma frowns, pushing him back after a moment to look at his face.

"Kuro?"

Kuro won't meet his gaze. That's strange. Ducking his head, Kenma tilts it to the side, trying to see Kuro's eyes.

"Kuro."

"I was so afraid that you hated me," Kuro whispers.

Kenma grips his arms tightly, as he shakes his head. "Of course I don't," he says. "I was annoyed and angry, but I never hated you."

"You didn't talk to me for so long . . ."

"That was stupid. I'm sorry."

Kuro gives him a crooked grin. "I deserved it."

Kenma's heart twists strangely in his chest. Why is Kuro beating himself so much about this? He made a stupid mistake, yes, but Kenma knows he didn't mean for everything else that followed to happen. He shakes his head.

"Now _you're_ being stupid," he says.

"Kenma . . ."

Kenma blinks up at him.

Kuro lifts his hand, stroking the backs of his knuckles against Kenma's cheek. "It wasn't supposed to go like this," he says softly. "I ruined it."

"Ruined what?" Kenma asks, his heart pounding in his throat.

Kuro smiles half-heartedly. "My proposal."

Kenma's heart stops. He stares, wide-eyed, as Kuro chuckles nervously, rubbing the back of his neck, as he looks away.

"Um. So, I kind of . . . had this whole thing planned for when we're older and have been dating for a while. I had this whole ten step thing where first I'd ask you out, and then we'd go on dates, have fun, then I'd ask you to move in with me, and then we'd adopt some cats, until later on down the road I'd ask you to marry me, and I already know what ring I want to get you and how I want the wedding to be, and this probably sounds really childish and weird now, but I was really upset with my actions because I meant it but the timing was wrong and you thought I was joking, and then I thought maybe this was for the best because now I know how you'd really respond so I should just scrap my whole idea but I don't want to. I really don't want to, Kenma. I love you, and one day I'd really like to marry you. For real."

Kenma blinks, not entirely sure if he's breathing or even alive. Things sort of feel fuzzy, and Kuro's expression shifts to panic, as the silence stretches between them.

"Oh shit. I made things worse. I made them worse, didn't I? Fuck, Ken—"

Kenma moves quickly. Rising on his toes, he grabs the back of Kuro's neck and pulls him down to kiss him, hard. Kuro gasps in surprise, but then he's wrapping his arms around Kenma once more, crushing him to his chest. He can feel how hard Kuro's heart is beating, and his own races to match it.

Kenma's lips are chapped, and Kuro's aren't much better, but neither of them cares. Kuro presses against him as though he's been wanting this his whole life, and Kenma can't help but feel that same desperation. He moves his lips with all the longing he feels in his chest, and when Kuro licks against the seam of his mouth, he opens for him willingly with a soft moan. Kuro's grip around him tightens, and he makes a small noise as well when their tongues meet.

When he finally pulls away to breathe, gasping quietly, Kuro appears dazed, and Kenma can't help but smile.

"Tell me more about your ten step plan," he says, and he watches as Kuro's grin lights up his entire face.

**Author's Note:**

> piece was commissioned by carrochan! thank you so much for commissioning me, love! I'm so glad you enjoyed it!
> 
> http://shions-heart.tumblr.com/


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